Did you know that today is officially Washington’s Birthday, not President’s Day? Section 6103(a) of title 5 of the United States Code, which details holidays for federal employees, proclaims Washington’s Birthday is a federal holiday. We used to celebrate Washington’s Birthday on his actual birthday, February 22, but then in 1968 Congress decided that federal holidays should be on Mondays so that lazy bureaucrats could have three days in a row off of work. Okay, I made that part up about lazy bureaucrats. I was having a Tea Party moment inspired by watching too much Fox News over the weekend.
There never was a federal holiday celebrating Lincoln’s birthday, which is February 12. Some states had state holidays celebrating the birthday, but the federal government could never bring itself to celebrate Lincoln. It had something to do with Southern states still licking their wounds after a civil war. In the minds of retailers the two birthdays got rolled into one day that always falls on a Monday so that we have time to shop for new sheets and towels and other special President’s Day offerings.
When I was a kid, Washington’s Birthday was all about cherries. See, there was a story making the rounds that Washington once chopped down a cherry tree. His dad was a little unhappy about losing that tree because his favorite pie was cherry pie. So Papa Washington confronted his son who owned up to wielding the hatchet—they didn’t have chain saws back then. The story was that Junior Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie” immediately before confessing. It turns out that isn’t’ what he said at all, but teachers kept repeating the lie because it was a great story and made kids think twice about fibbing.
But, you see, the story could deliver two separate messages. One message was that kids shouldn’t lie. The other message was that it was okay for authority figures to lie in order to get the masses to follow directions. And that is why there is one major cable channel today claiming to be fair and balanced while misinforming its audience so that its viewers will support all things Koch.
It’s as American as Cherry Pie.
Homework
Federal Holidays
Washington's Birthday or President's Day?
Which Is More Credible: Fox News or University of Maryland?
Fox News Makes You Stupid
There never was a federal holiday celebrating Lincoln’s birthday, which is February 12. Some states had state holidays celebrating the birthday, but the federal government could never bring itself to celebrate Lincoln. It had something to do with Southern states still licking their wounds after a civil war. In the minds of retailers the two birthdays got rolled into one day that always falls on a Monday so that we have time to shop for new sheets and towels and other special President’s Day offerings.
When I was a kid, Washington’s Birthday was all about cherries. See, there was a story making the rounds that Washington once chopped down a cherry tree. His dad was a little unhappy about losing that tree because his favorite pie was cherry pie. So Papa Washington confronted his son who owned up to wielding the hatchet—they didn’t have chain saws back then. The story was that Junior Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie” immediately before confessing. It turns out that isn’t’ what he said at all, but teachers kept repeating the lie because it was a great story and made kids think twice about fibbing.
But, you see, the story could deliver two separate messages. One message was that kids shouldn’t lie. The other message was that it was okay for authority figures to lie in order to get the masses to follow directions. And that is why there is one major cable channel today claiming to be fair and balanced while misinforming its audience so that its viewers will support all things Koch.
It’s as American as Cherry Pie.
Homework
Federal Holidays
Washington's Birthday or President's Day?
Which Is More Credible: Fox News or University of Maryland?
Fox News Makes You Stupid
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